I can be free

I am free

Without Criticism

With Compassion

Sought with Love- ArmJdhy

Elohim is

He seeks me with love

Sees me lovingly

Tenderly

Cause the Lord knows no one else ever has

That I needed it

I Am Not Angry With You Child

Elohim says

3:08p NYC 9/19/22

10:20p NYC 9/19/22

Watching Yellowstone on Peacock, Kevin Costner

And he is upset that the whole town is turning on him?

Cause he isn’t doing anything to help anyone

All became slaves to him forever

Requested to do awful things in return

Mfer here

Gives nothing but his dick

And it ain’t that good

Just better than whatever they are use to

Not saying he hasn’t given a deal to someone

He too disrespects everyone

Some how

In little ways

That are actually big

Even unknowingly

Blind

Like i was

My capacity to

Take such twistedness

Is beyond me

Elohim uses it

Uses me

Except

He doesn’t disrespect me

He makes it good

Because it is a Pink Slip

I am a Pink Slip girl (car terminology)

I am an Inspector

An Agent of the Lord

He uses me

To gauge

He is teaching me something

When all of NYC burns

A tear i will not shed

For Chicago is hardhearted

This place?

They lie to themselves so hard!

They believe their own bullshit?

Not really tho

Self Hatred in a Nutshell =NYC

Each one has its own particular way of showing it

Seriously Bad Self Esteem

Where all the bling comes from

The flashy lights

Like the Necromancer told Riddick

They learn a bigger pain

That washes away all the others

NYC

Verdict is in

Me?

I don’t care

I am beyond pain now

Beyond consciousness

Beyond thought

Of one foot

Forward movement?

I am moving

I exist

I don’t fear myself anymore

That i will do something wrong

Not after all this

Beyond asking Why

Beyond crying about it

Unconscious movement

As long as a microscopic part of me lives

It is Yours Lord

To do as Thy Wishes

My Precious

Is You Lord

I remember saying that to the Motherfucker

With the voice and everything

Told him he looks like him too

When I called him my precious

With the voice

I saw the fear

The acceptance

How imps scuttle around your feet

Cling to your evilness

Aah

Not ready to kill for you tho

I understand why someone would want to tho

Someone will kill him one day

Most likely a woman

Why?

Stupid fuck asked

I sighed

Cause how do you explain?

How he compliments a woman

Turns her out

Inside out

Till all the small, yet large

Evil shit he says

And does ta ya?

To her

Gets to be too much one day?

He goes to far?

Gets major careless?

Or he will die alone

Like my Son’s Father did

Because even his own Sister no longer took him seriously?

Nobody listened to him that day

And he was already a human head on a stick

Very very sick

AIDS

A diabetic with AIDS

Ran out of insulin

People profiting off of

Diabetics during the needle shortage of Covid19

Drug addicts will reuse a dirty needle

Wonder how many diabetics considered the same thing?

Yellowstone is the demise of the USA

Watching a dynasty fall

Is utterly fascinating

Didn’t realize how corrupt it could be too

But that is why i can be

In the middle of Triple K territory

With Him

Because

My Life?

Is truly His

The Lamb i am in such circumstances

Here in NYC

Fully aware?

Of Him?

Evil is not as scary as He is

Not by a long shot

When all is said and done?

I can go peacefully

Because

There are no regrets in Him

In His Presence

I experience Heaven on Earth

For He is Heaven

I get that every time I focus on Him

My Secret Place

My Closet Time

Intimacy with Christ

With Yesuah

Learning to focus on Him as one plunges to my death?

I have been reborn so many times!

Difficult to fear death

To fear anything really

(Besides Him)

For a Junkie is slowly falling apart

On Elohim tho?

One slowly gets better

And better!

It’s scary tho

For i always had a reason

For my unsuccess

99?

Shoot, try a thousand!

Plus 1 Elohim?

One Yesuah?

One Holy Spirit?

I don’t have to trust me

I don’t fear me getting in His way anymore

I am gone

Instead of My Precious

Priceless

Immeasurable

Gratefulness

You are truly everything now

The rest just don’t know it yet

I am 110% Yours

And counting

You aren’t broken in Heaven

I said

Looking at him (the mfer) with incredulousness

It shocks me that you don’t know this?

You can’t believe it?

Scared to even conceive it?

Aren’t you?

Why?

ArmJdhy

That is inconceivable to me

Then the mfer claps me on the shoulder

That is for people like you

It says

I don’t like the way he/it touched me

I glared at him

Unexpected loss

Felt when i said i no longer trust you

For both of us!

Even tho he has been, it has been doing everything it could

To achieve this goal from day one

It/he misses me

And hates me too

For i deserve hell

For the things i have done

Yet Yesuah still desires to forgive him

Even tho

We all would agree with the motherfucker

Yesuah still goes after him

I am beyond asking why

I don’t need to know

I don’t need more fucked up shit

In my head

He forgives me

I remove much judgement of others

Condemnation

Suspended

Removed

To be a Soldier in the Lord

and not do anything

As they commit evil on each other?

A little easier now

For i see demonic children too

I am shown the weakness

The choices made

That led up to this point

I am learning the why behind His commands

Behind His choices

No point in questioning them

For He saved me

This is my penance?

One man’s garbage is

Another Man’s treasure

I wish I wasn’t tired of going through

Elohim’s Garbage

Yet i am

Supposed to be grateful for any position

Promotion is His

Fuck Promotion

Just i swear the garbage is coming out of my pores!

Which is a good thing

Except i am laying in it?

Surrounded by it?

Breathing it in too?

It is so toxic!

I struggle to remain still

To not run

While this occurs

<sigh>

Take me away!

You are my Calgon Moments

You try to do the Night & Graveyard Shift for the Lord

While humanity forces you to live 9-5

(Ty Lord! I will focus closer on what You want, regardless)

Loose Sleep For Yesuah!

#armjdhy #r812 #j3017