The best 2 weeks of my life

I feel very French right now ☺️😊

Because I don’t regret it

Never will

This movie reminded me of it

Respected, devoted, possesive

He gave me believable fiction

For two whole weeks!

Laughter

Belief

Wonderful

Where even he began to falter

To think maybe

She really believes this?

Where even now

After he purposefully hurt my feelings

(He would make his digs (actually the demon would)

I began to wonder

After a particularly robust session

If the demon fucked me

Cause it felt different

Wasn’t sure I liked it

Even tho i did?

Weird, i guess

Like 2 people talking to me

One never loved for 21 years

(There was a point he said it and I knew he was lying)

Is it just being a control freak

For him

To

Sorta care?

Even tho he is watching me

Thru his ‘people’

Because this isn’t my first Narcissists

He didn’t feel that way tho

More true possession

More acting like, how he thinks demons should be

In the beginning he was

Yet it turned for him

Who doesn’t want to be loved?

Thought well of

A trap for many sexual abusers of children

Who argue they are not

Like they never were

Warped and twisted so young

With a twist of actual mental problems

Like undiagnosed ADHD

He told me of his teacher

In the 6th grade

He was 12

Everyone in the school knew she dressed too sexy

Some of the adults even knew she was

Revealing herself to her students

Yet

There were girls in this class too

I wonder what it was like from their perspective?

Some taking notes and emulating?

Wanting such ‘power’ themselves?

I said, “ So, the person who was supposed to be protecting the students was instead sexually abusing them.”

“She had you focused on your dick instead of learning something.”

Instead of teaching the curriculum

She was spreading her legs under the desk

Without underwear

And

See

No one takes responsibility for

A psychotic sexual addicted ptsd marine war veteran today

Also killed people on American soil

As a civilian

Got away with most of them

So is he telling the truth when

I think he is/was

Cause we had fun

Without the sex

I loved it

I fought for it

He tells me

Generally

The horrors done to him

At the VA

I am aware that the American Soldier

Is treated just as badly as a prisoner

For we have no rights

They can experiment on you

In the name of

National Defense

The ‘We DON’T CARE, how, just GET IT DONE!’ Attitude.

Where being sick is ignored

Where being a psychopath

Is fucking necessary? (Yes it is)

To be a Marine

In a war

Even this organized war bullshit

So…

I hear a ring of truth

And I know they don’t want to admit it

Who would?

Yet people have a tendency to feel comfortable around me

And they end up saying things

They never before told anyone

Lord

I can keep secrets again?

😞

Cause people also have a tendency to dump their shit on me

Like a fucking confessional

And what are we

What am I supposed to do with it?

With this insight?

This view into the darkness

This mind bending fuck puzzle shit?

Breathe Aneesah

Breathe

Is that what i am?

Some …

Fuck me

Mercy?

Shit

Even for just a moment?

(See? This is why being A Soldier in the Lord is a b*tch, eh?)

Because

It’s not fun!

Yet

I am fucking glad?

To have

Provided such

Possibly?

Elohim knows

Damn Father!

Ty for the different take

The total derailment

Of my rant

My rave

Because

I saw the fucked up twistyness (yeah I know it is spelled wrong , but right now?

This moment?

Forgive me for first spelling it twistiness, getting the ducking red underline and attempting to correct the spelling, but realize it may actually be spelled correctly? And the y is saying fuck you right now cause i am

An act of Mercy?

The Gift of Mercy

Fuck me

In Disciple Training, one of the other ladies scored the Gift of Mercy

And she was a bitch

Of the colder variety

Listening to her explain how she scored the Gift of Mercy tho

Made me think of myself then too

That it works for us sexually

Even if not sexually

Intimately

Very close

And today

Sex is difficult to

Not be involved somehow

It explains like

Every relationship i have ever been in too

Does Mr. Right need mercy?

As much as these people?

Whom no one could love?

Whom no one could walk away from?

Without bitterness?

Easy for us

To get carried away

Being Elohim and all

The Holy Spirit even

And yet

Part of me is asking myself

Whispering

‘What if it is true?’

Cause I don’t want THIS!

Yet

It answers my WHY?! God (Elohim) Why?

Question of my fucking life!

Shit!

Fuck me

4:20p NYC 8-31-22 fucking J2225 Day