⁶But when they resisted and blasphemed, he shook out his garments and said to them, “Your blood is on your own heads! I am clean. From now on I will go to the Gentiles.” 

Key Word blasphemed! Go by the spirit! For it is NOT our job to convince (or presuade, like Paul attempts here (Acts: previous verse(s)

It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convince or NOT!

There is freedom in this!

Do ALL things under prompting (guidance) from the Holy Spirit!

Doesn’t mean WAIT till a prompt comes! (UNLESS guided by the Holy Spirit to wait, under these circumstances! )

50 years i am, 8 years in Christ and about 5 years of Holy Spirit Walking!

Meaning 50-8=42 years WITHOUT Yeshua, counts too!

When you’ve had THAT MANY years of living without Yeshua?

i feel sorry for the ones who never get to see that!

Who do not get to feel the difference! See the difference!

Because that serves me well in staying on the very narrow, path!

When it is just me…physically.

It is back to the beginning!

Like when He first came to me!

i feel sorry for those who didn’t get that experience!

Who still haven’t experienced such forgiveness!

Who have never done anything so bad (in their eyes) to NEED such forgiveness!

i have searched far and wide (gift of knowledge) and have found Christ/Yeshua, in many places, parts of Him any way!

No other faith expands on forgiveness! Teaches, repeats how! And why!

I am grateful for those who teach beyond what is always said.

Who planted those seeds early.

i am grateful to have received, been in the environment of…

Had the experience of: questions! Freedom to ask and be answered by one who had the Gift of Teaching, as given by the Holy Spirit!

Who had a lot of knowledge and experience without Yeshua too!

For guidance from the Holy Spirit, the consequences of not listening?!

Are prominently defined waaay before or while He comes to you!

Like Paul.

So hard headed (stubborn, single minded) that he needed something drastic to listen!

There are those who do not need such…miracles?

Like who?

For i do!

Still do!

i pray i always will!

Experience that awe! His Glory! His Presence! His Verification/Confirmation!

His Confidence!

Is SO needed!

Cause i wonder: Do the other rooms get this stench?

Is this…

At the same time i realize:

Does it matter?

Will it stop if it was?

What can i do about it?

What does HE want me to do?

The big picture, do.

I am reminded of.

Regardless of the source or the reason,

i have things to do!

Assignments, goals.

Placed in my heart, in my mind by the Holy Spirit.

Helps me spend less energy on…

Presentation?

Of me…too!

Less time spent thinking about it! Apologizing for it.

When Elohim/Yeshua finds no fault in you…

When the Holy Spirit shows you, how your worst…

is just a by product of being without Him?

Lamento ValTatui: is not translating well (lamento: i am sorry. The rest is Finnish? Portuguese? A mole crab?! (So someone’s name? An endearment understood culturally?…)

My attempt to visually demonstrate how one feels when the Holy Spirit forgives you/me.

Inadequate in showing how such love lights up one’s LIFE! At such revelations!

How such forgiveness is painfully joyful? As well?

So many emotions it is difficult to stand?

Difficult not to tear up, to stumble?

That He sees them ALL as stumbles?

The Child He loves so intensely?

He is there now, here RIGHT NOW!

So that whenever i stumble, He has never let go of my hand?…!

To where…

How do i convey this?

Ya know that on one knee proposing moment?

When her eyes are glittering with tears (and feel free to change her to whatever pronoun you prefer) in anticipation of His next words?

My stumble, my mistake, my mortification, my shame…

is transformed into THAT?!

That Officer and A Gentleman moment, that every-romantic breathtaking-moment-you-could-ever-dream-of all wrapped up in…

He is here!!

Right now, kneeling in the muck with me!

The muck i find myself immersed in.

Currently?

The foul stench in the air

My desire to retaliate against the many here

who seem to find joy in my unhappiness

The one holding your hand as you give birth. (🥰)

He is the only one who i can go through this much pain for and not desire to hurt them back!

Really, He is reminding me, no matter how painfully disgusting this world is (my circumstances)

I Love you? I’d marry you all over again right now? You can do this? WE are doing this?

The One who never mocks me, puts me down.

Who UNDERSTANDS!

i respond better with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8?

Cause He has been asking me what i want.

For the first time something in me responded, in anguish:

i didn’t get gifts.

As a child.

The kind that light your eyes up, have your whole body explode with joy, kind.

Actually, i do remember something like that

Back when i was still friends with my family, extended family too

It’s a shame when the person who saw me like that, the person who thought of it

Ends up being a pedophile

(Which explains why i am was so drawn to them!)

There isn’t such with You oh my God! 😊🥰

Toxicity does not taint Thy Gifts! 😊

In the future, nor from the past!

The love You give?

is pure 1 Corinthians 13:4-8!

And i NEED that shown to me in every way possible!

A child needs those ultimate heart desires filled!

For me, things i wanted!

As a child,

Not understanding that i was asking for a king!

i wanted You, even then!

With You i do not have to worry about worshipping, adoring,

For the one who gives me the gifts deep in my heart

Have always been much appreciated

Would’ve earned my loyalty

Made it more painful when they couldn’t do it, show such love on a daily

Never grow with me

i need those magical moments

Such magical blessings

the kind of ‘food‘ that one remembers decades (centuries) later

That is MY GOD!

Where that moment, those gifts, that miracle, those revelations, that forgiveness…

is paramount in my daily crucifixions upon this planet! I pray in Yeshua’s Holy name! For myself and you (who have read this far!) 😚🥰😁👋🏾

(Amen)